i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
