When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
