And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
