there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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