My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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