Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
