I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
