I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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