He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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