i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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