He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
