READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
