gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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