She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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