I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
