i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
bring money and cleavage
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
