you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
