and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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