so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize