does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
