Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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