Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
