capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
