carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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