And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
