Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
