It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
