just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
