i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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