she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
