Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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