you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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