Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
