I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
