margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Less talking, more tequila
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
