so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
