Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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