drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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