There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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