He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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