She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
