Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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