worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Randomize
