Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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