Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My underwear smells like fireworks.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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