But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
