You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
