No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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