you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
