I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My balls are so social today.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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