i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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