can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
