shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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