All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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