oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
