Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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