break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
