it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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