Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
