Screwed.edu
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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