Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
