No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
