I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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