He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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