Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
