3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
