If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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