just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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