but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
