We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize