we're blogging at a bar
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
