I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
